The Top 10 CD's of 2009 (so far...)

Usually, I find myself playing catch up at the end of the year trying to get all the discs that have come out during that year ("Wait, they had a new CD this year? When did THAT come out?"). This year however, I have been pretty on top of getting the discs I want right as or after they come out (or *ahem* before they come out). I am still missing a few that I really wanted, but you can't get everything. So, I decided to post my list of my top 10 favorite discs of the first half of the year. I know 2009 isn't technically half over, but since not many new discs come out in December, I figured June was a good cut off point. Here they are, with a short blurb about each one and a few songs I really like from the disc:

10.) Iron & Wine - Around the Well
This is a compilation disc from the alternative folk band. While there were other compilation discs that came out this year that I decided to not include on the list, I left this one in because it contains mostly unreleased songs. Like most folk music, the songs on this disc are pretty straightforward musically - just a guitar, some drums and a story. Sam Beam (Iron & Wine is pretty much him and whatever band he puts together to go on tour with) manages to craft some very pretty songs that musically lend themselves to just sitting out on the porch, tapping your foot along and generally just enjoying a nice summer's day, as long as you don't listen to the lyrics - he manages to make some upbeat sounding songs about pretty sad subject matter. So, the songs can serve two purposes - put you in a good mood or allow you to wallow in a good depression. Your choice.
Favorite songs from the disc - "Dearest Forsaken", "Belated Promise Ring", "Love Vigilantes", "No Moon", "Carried Home", "Arms of a Thief".

9.) Passion Pit - Manners
Passion Pit are an electronic pop band that I just discovered this year, although they had an EP that came out last year. The lead singer has a high pitched voice that may turn some people off, but I think it fits right in with their style of music, almost like an additional instrument. Their songs are catchy pop songs, but they are just short of dance-y. So, if you are looking for a song to bob your head along to, check this one out.
Favorite songs from the disc - "Make Light", "Little Secrets", "The Reeling", "Eyes As Candles", "Folds In Your Hands", "The Seaweed Song".

8.) Neko Case - Middle Cyclone
As part of the New Pornographers, Neko Case sings on some of the catchiest pop songs you will ever hear. Her solo songs, however, are in a whole different vein. She sings a very soulful alternative country that sounds like it belongs in a backwoods country bar, with a haze of cigarette smoke in the air.
Favorite songs from the disc -"This Tornado Loves You", "People Got a Lotta Nerve", "Middle Cyclone", "I'm an Animal", "Don't Forget Me", "Red Tide".

7.) Grizzly Bear - Vekatimest
Its not very easy to describe Grizzly Bear's music (they play a psychedelic folk music - try and describe what THAT sounds like). The band has said that they set out to make a more accessible record, and they succeeded - this disc has a very dense sound (due in large part to the fact that everyone in the band contributes to vocals and allows them an added dimension most bands aren't able to manage), but they have managed to make it a rewarding listening experience without sacrificing their signature experimental sound.
Favorite songs from the disc -"Southern Point", "All We Ask", "Cheerleader", "Ready, Able", "About Face", "While You Wait For the Others".

6.) The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz
A great disc from the band following their disappointing sophomore record. This disc added a throwback 1980's synthpop sound to the band's signature garage rock, which really appealed to me since I am a big fan of that type of music. It was great to see that the band still has something left and wasn't just a flash in the pan.
Favorite songs from the disc - "Zero", "Heads Will Roll", "Soft Shock", "Dull Life", "Shame and Fortune", "Dragon Queen", "Hysteric".

5. ) Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion
Similar to Grizzly Bear, Animal Collective is another band that has a hard to define sound. They play a sort of psychedelic folk as well, but they don't quite sound the same as Grizzly Bear. True to the second part of their name, their music sounds like a bunch of people sitting around a campfire singing, although some sort of drugs would probably be involved on this camping trip - either with them for singing or with you for listening.
Favorite songs from the disc -"In the Flowers", "My Girls", "Summertime Clothes", "Bluish", "Taste".

4.) Super Furry Animals - Dark Days/Light Years
In what seems to be a continuing theme, Super Furry Animals is another band that has a hard to pin down sound (can you tell that I like bands that take chances and don't try to sound like everyone else?). However, unlike the other 2 bands in this "category", Super Furry Animals put forth the most rock-oriented and catchy songs, at least on this disc. This disc definitely has a more upbeat sound than the Grizzly Bear and Animal Collective discs - songs more suited for the middle part of the party than the end.
Favorite songs from the disc -"Mt", "Moped Eyes", "Inconvenience", "Helium Hearts", "White Socks/Flip Flops", "Where Do You Wanna Go?".

3.) Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
This disc was a very pleasant surprise. I had read some things on the internet hyping this band up way before their CD was released, which usually means that there will be a let down when you actually are able to hear them (it doesn't mean that the disc you are expecting isn't good - it's just that usually the internet hype machine inflates things to such a degree that there is no way the band can live up to the expectations). However, in this case, the CD was so much better than even I expected. Phoenix's upbeat dance rock will be a staple of my car rides all summer long...
Favorite songs from the disc -"Lisztomania", "Love Like a Sunset", "Lasso", "Countdown (Sick For the Big Sun)", "Girlfriend".

2.) Camera Obscura - My Maudlin Career
Camera Obscura has been around since 1996, but I didn't discover them until after a few years ago. I really enjoyed what I had heard from them before, but I think this newest disc is their best effort to date. "My Maudlin Career" often has the sound of a very literate 60's girl group music, as if the Supremes or Martha and the Vandellas went to college and decided to let what they had learned seep into their lyrics (pretty amazing when you realize that this is a white lady from England singing...).
Favorite songs from the disc -"French Navy", "You Told a Lie", "Away With Murder", "Swans", "James", "My Maudlin Career", "Honey in the Sun".

1.) Bat For Lashes - Two Suns
I was totally not expecting how good this CD turned out to be. I had only vaguely heard of this band previously (although its really just a woman named Natasha Khan and not really much of a band) and I got their 1st cd a few weeks prior to the release of Two Suns. I liked "Fur and Gold" a good deal, but there was nothing on it that blew me away. That was definitely not the case the first time I listened to "Two Suns" - it was one of those rare occurences where I immediately thought upon first listen, "Wow, this is a really fucking good CD." It is a great mix of rock and electronic pop, along with an ethereal quality, due mostly to Natasha's voice, that is at the same time upbeat and chill. A great disc.
Favorite songs from the disc -"Glass", "Sleep Alone", "Daniel", "Piece of Mind", "Pearl's Dream".

Top 5 Favorite Dramas

This is a companion post to the "Top 5 Comedies" post I did previously...





5.) Battlestar Gallactica

This is of course the remake, not the original (although I used to love that one when it was originally on). While this is a show that is set in space, it was so well written and acted; the setting was only one very small aspect of the overall story. It should have appealed to fans of good drama, rather than just sci-fi fans. Unfortunately, very few people watched it. I told the story of the last survivors of a race that was pushed to the brink of extinction by their own creations and their search for a new home. Over the course of this search (and 5 seasons), the show dealt with family conflict, loss of identity, political struggles, morality, and an increasing sense of futility in a way that really made you care about the characters the way a good episodic show needs to. While I didn't care for the way they wrapped up the series in the last episode, that doesn't diminish how much I loved the show up to that point.



4.) Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You are probably thinking, "Come on. How can a show about a bunch of kids fighting vampires be THAT good." That is the same thing that I thought before I started watching this show (I didn't watch this show when it was originally on, but only caught it in syndication and on DVD). HOWEVER... the dialog in BTVS has to rank up there with some of the best on a TV series ever. Writer/Mastermind Joss Whedon has the fantastic ability to combine pop culture, sarcasm, humor and tension in a way that really gives his characters life. Plus, he knows how to really write a kick ass story - every season blends one-off monster of the week episodes with the overall story arc episodes that ratchet up the tension until everything explodes at the end in a satisfying conclusion, before starting all over again the next season. In addition, each season builds on the overall series story arc - taking Buffy from an unsure high school girl fighting vampires with her friends and transforming her into the mature leader of an entire army of slayers. It is a very fun, action packed and sometimes sad ride getting from the beginning of that journey to the end.



3.) Lost

This is the only series on this list that is still ongoing, so depending on how the last season plays out, it may move up the list (I don't see it moving down; the first 4 seasons were so good that they would really have to piss me off in season 5 to give me a lesser opinion of this show). The way this show slowly parcels out answers to its various mysteries while at the same time serving up plot points that raise 5 or 6 more questions each is masterful. Never have I shouted "what the fuck!?!?!" (in a good way) so many times at the end of an episode as I have with this series. It is the most riveting story (books, movies and other tv shows included) that I have ever experienced.



2.) The Sopranos

Very rarely have such despicable characters been so lovable. Tony, Sil, Paulie and the rest are killers, cheaters, thieves, yet you sympathize and root for them. That's because these characters were so well defined. Tony wasn't just a mobster. He was a man who spent his whole life trying to please his awful mother, which was an impossible task. He suffered from anxiety and guilt because of his decisions. He would turn on family to protect what he had, when necessary. You wanted him to stay on top, no matter what horrible things he did (and there were a LOT of horrible things - poor Christopher).



1.) The Wire

Hands down the best show ever on TV. The other 4 shows on this list are great, but this one is at the top of the list for one reason - how rewarding a show it was to watch. To enjoy this show, you needed to invest a little time and attention. Each season, characters are introduced and the plot is rolled out slowly in the first few episodes and it requires a little effort on your part to get to know these characters. That's part of the reason that this show didn't do well in the ratings. Not many people want to invest that kind of time. However, having put a little effort into watching this show makes the payoff that much better when each season's story concludes. Another fantastic thing about The Wire is that it doesn't try to present any happy endings or tie things up neatly. Just like in real life, there are consequences to your actions and just because you scored a victory over drugs or corruption, the struggle keeps right on going.

People Watching At Its Finest

I just spent 4 days at The Memorial Tournament, the annual PGA event here in Columbus. I am a golf fan, so I enjoy watching the tournament itself. However, even if I wasn’t, I would still go every year because the people watching is fantastic. I have never been to an event that has that diverse of a crowd to observe and secretly judge. Since a lot of companies buy passes and give them to their employees, its not just country club types that are there. While the assemblage of people is pretty divers, the following groups really stand out:

1.) The Women There To Land a Rich Husband
I am sure that they are aiming for one of the pro golfers (I found out this weekend that Jim Furyk met his wife in Columbus), but would probably settle for one of the well-off company executives that are everywhere. You can spot these women from a mile away – they are all wearing dresses and are totally dolled up to try and attract attention to themselves. They also have on shoes that look like they would be uncomfortable walking from the house to the mailbox, let alone walking up and down the hills on a golf course (and there are some pretty steep ones at Muirfield). I am surprised there are not more broken ankles (although I did see some lady bite it on the side of a hill on Saturday – that was pretty humorous…).

2.) Guys Dressed In Their Golf Outfits
I am not talking about the guys that just wear their golf shirts or their golf spikes (the spike-wearers are idiots). I am referring to the guys that are in full gear – golf shoes, pants shirts, hats and sometimes vests. I don’t know if they are trying to fool people into thinking they are pro golfers that already finished their round and are just hanging out on the course (possibly in an attempt to fool the women in #1 above) or they are hoping that Davis Love III is going to go down with a knee injury on the 6th tee and his caddy is going to turn to the crowd and shout, “Isn’t there anyone out there who is properly dressed that can save this round????” Whatever the reason, they look like tools.

3.) Really Old White People
These are the people that have probably been coming to the tournament since it began in the early 70s, and they were still Old White People then (the “Really” part didn’t come until later). They bring their chairs with them and pick out a hole they like and camp out right up front, even if no golfers are scheduled to come through for a few hours. They sit there and chat and continue to creep closer to death. These people are not to be confused with the people that find a whole they like and then put their chair down to save their spot right up front and then LEAVE for a few hours. Those people make me want to throw their chairs into the sandtrap.

4.) The Douchebags Who Follow Tiger.
I know a lot of people follow Tiger Woods. That’s fine – he’s the most popular golfer there is and the sole reason why a lot of people have even the slightest interest in golf. I know this going in and I am fine with it – I either avoid the part of the course he is on, or, if I do want to see him, I find a spot where I can see a few groups ahead of him and wait for the crowds to come to me. My major problem is with the idiots that feel the need shout obnoxiously every time he touches the ball. If you have ever watched Tiger on TV, you know these people. They are the ones that shout “Get in the hole!” when he tees off on a 565 yard par 5 (my favorite example – once on TV I heard someone yell “Get you some!” after one of his drives – classic…). Well, its 50 times worse when you are seeing him in person. There is a lot more yelling and inane Tiger related chatter that the microphones don’t pick up (like the time on Saturday when, after hearing some cheering off in the distance, some yokel behind me remarked. “that must be for Tiger” as if the crowd would not appreciate any other mere mortal’s shot).

Also, make sure you always hit up the pro shop...

Hollywood Remakes

I read an article today that there are talks going on to make another Buffy the Vampire Slayer theatrical movie. However, this new movie will have nothing to do with either the television show or Joss Whedon, the mastermind of that show. Predictably, the internet is up in arms over this. Fans of the TV version of Buffy are, for the most part, dedicated almost to the point of being rabid in their love for the vampire world that Whedon created (as evidenced by the fact that the Buffy comic book, which picked up the story after the last season, routinely is within the top 15 for sales every month and is the only non-superhero, non- DC or Marvel book to sell that high). I realize that thanks to Twilight, Hollywood is vampire-crazy right now. The thing that I don't understand is that the main driving force (other than a like of any original ideas, which I'll get to in a minute) between all of the remakes that have bombarded us the last 10 years or so is that Hollywood producers think that by slapping a well-known name on a movie or TV show, that there will already be a built-in audience and there is that much more of a chance that it will make money. That being the case, why would you start off by alienating the biggest potential fan base for your movie before you even get out of the talking stage?

As I stated above, the glut of remakes that Hollywood has forced upon us just show how few original ideas there are out there and how afraid the studios are to take a chance on anything. Unfortunately, for the most part, you can't really blame them - people don't really want originality, they want something that they are comfortable with. That's why Hollywood will remake something, no matter how obscure or unrelated it ends up being to the original in anything but name - I just read recently that they are thinking about a remake to "Flight of the Navigator"... does ANYONE even remember that movie???

The sad thing is, if we are going to be fed a constant diet of remakes, the least they could do is make them good. Almost all of them SUCK. For every remake that is just as good or better than the original, like Battlestar Galactica or The Office, you get 150 Charlie's Angels or Miami Vices, which are unwatchable. Yet, the studios keep pumping them out, and people still keep watching them. I don't know why it still bothers me so much. I should be numbed to it by now, but I am not. Whenever I read an article on Ain't It Cool or The AV Club about the latest remake that is in discussion (which is usually once a week), I get all irate - "How DARE they? Is nothing sacred?" Oh well. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch the preview trailer for the remake of "V" that will appear on ABC this fall...

Celebrity

I just finished watching "How To Lose Friends and Alienate People" with Simon Pegg (I thought the movie was decent and probably enjoyed it more because of Pegg. I love him - if you haven't seen "Shawn of the Dead" or "Hot Fuzz", you should. As soon as possible). One of the themes of the movie is the culture of celebrity that is created and sustained by both the public and the media that doesn't necessarily relate to how talented the person is or the quality of their craft. I was all set to go off on a rant against how I hate that this happens and I was ready to identify people, TV shows, movies that are famous or popular that I think are worthless. Then, I decided why bother. I just didn't have the energy to go on a long winded tirade about a subject for which I am in the minority (this is probably just an rare occurrence - I usually like nothing better than to disparage the poor taste of others, but I just wasn't feeling it tonight). I know that the majority of people in this country like mediocre fare - why else are American Idol, Two and a Half Men, Nickelback and Paul Blart: Mall Cop popular?

So, rather than harp on things that popular that have no reason to be so, I decided to pick 4 people/bands/shows that should be much more popular than they are:

Joseph Gordon-Levitt
While he is not as well known today by name, I am sure there are a lot of people that would recognize him if they saw a picture of him (and he was wearing a long-haired wig). He first came to the public's attention as Tommy, the youngest member of the cast of "3rd Rock From the Sun." Few people that saw him back then would figure that he would become one of the most talented and versatile young actors in Hollywood today. He impressed many critics with is role in "Mysterious Skin", but my favorite performance of his was in "Brick." He was able to take a challenging role in a movie that sought to take a typical 40's film noir plot (along with the same kind of hard-boiled dialog you would expect from a film of this type) and convincingly portray the kind of world-weary sleuth that you could favorably compare to a Sam Spade or a Philip Marlowe. He is set to star as Cobra Commander in the live-action GI Joe movie this summer, so maybe he is on the verge of stardom (although from everything I have read and seen about this movie, I am not optimistic about its chances...)

New Pornographers
The New Pornographers are an alternative band that write and perform some of the catchiest pop songs that you will ever hear. Except that no one other than indie rock fans have any idea who they are. Their best songs have hooks that stick right in your brain and have you humming them long after you have heard the song. As far as pop music today, there is nothing that you will hear on your local Top 40 station that can hold a candle to the songs that Carl Newman, Dan Bejar, Neko Case and the rest of the Pornographers have released on their 4 discs. They have shown that "pop music" doesn't have to be a type of music that is associated with bland, corporate created, bubble gum crap.



The Hold Steady
Another alternative band that is relatively unknown outside of indie rock fans. The Hold Steady are more straightforward rock and roll than The New Pornographers, though, so they should have even more mainstream appeal. I am not sure why they have not crossed over and received more radio airplay. They also put on one of the best live shows around in terms of getting the crowd into it and also how into the show the band is (singer Craig Finn is a real character). I have seen them 3 times now and I will continue to see them every chance I get.



30 Rock
You may be asking, "how can a series that won the 'Best Comedy Series' Emmy 2 years in a row need to be more popular?" Have you seen the ratings for this show? Its one of the best shows on TV and nobody is watching it. If it wasn't for the fact that NBC overall is in the crapper ratings-wise, they probably wouldn't have stuck behind it as strongly as they have. Each and every week, Alec Baldwin hits it out of the park with his portrayal of Jack Donaghy, the head of NBC. Tracy Morgan is so off the wall as Tracy Jordan (who I am pretty sure is just an exaggerated version of Morgan's real life persona). I know lots of people that love the Office that don't stick around to watch 30 rock afterward and I don't understand it.

Ah, Summer...

Right now, I am sitting outside in the afternoon, working from home (and other than this blog post I actually HAVE been working). It is gorgeous out and I am partially involved in one of my favorite summer activities - sitting outside and listening to music (I would be completely enjoying this activity if I had a beer as well, but it is a little early for that). I have been listening to a few CD's today that will probably be in heavy rotation this summer - the new Wilco, Camera Obscura, Maximo Park, Bat for Lashes, Depeche Mode. There will be others, but that is what has made the list so far - I am in the process of listening/re-listening to all the CD's I have that came out this year in order to a.) add some newer songs to my master iPod play list, and b.) come up with a "Top 10 CD's from 2009 (so far") list for a future blog post (early front runner for best disc of the year - Bat For Lashes). I really prefer more upbeat stuff in the summer, so there are some good low key discs that came out this year that won't make it on to the "summer rotation" list. Oh well, they will get their due once fall rolls around and only football and Halloween can save me from total depression.

Good music and summer go hand and hand for me, whether its sitting outside at a BBQ (or for no other reason than it is nice out) or just driving around on a beautiful day blasting some tunes. I can't think of ever doing one of those activities without some good music on the stereo (and it doesn't even have to be the kind of music I am really into - I have some great memories of sitting around with my family in the summer while some oldies or classic rock is blaring in the background). Now, I know that I am really into music (that should probably have read REALLY), so I am a little biased on this subject, but I just cannot understand how some people just aren't into music at all or have absolutely no opinions about music (I know people like this). I am not talking about people's tastes in music - I know a lot of people who have wildly different tastes than me that are really into what they like. I mean people that could really not care less about music (I guess its more of an indifference to music). This is unfathomable to me. As far as I am concerned, good music makes EVERYTHING better - a drive, a picnic, a party, a trip to the bar, work, mowing the lawn. If you are having a mediocre time at any of those and some good music comes on, your experience instantly improves (at least for me). I can't imagine how boring your life must be that, in those situations, your mood isn't affected by adding music to the mix.

Top 5 Favorite Funny TV Characters

When I was at home for lunch today, I saw a little bit of a program on Bravo counting down the All-Time Best TV Characters. Now, I personally like my all-time lists a little more narrowed down than that - comedy and drama should be separate (plus, as is usual with things like this, their rankings were ridiculous - Dr. Johnny Fever at #68???? Come on!). So, I figured that it would be a good companion to my Top 5 TV Comedy post to do a list of the Top 5 TV Comedy Characters. And away we go...

1.) Homer J. Simpson

Unfortunately, in the last few seasons, Homer has been portrayed as JUST an idiot - he does a lot of stupid things that even HE can't possible think would work. That isn't nearly as funny as the way he used to be. Sure he has always been an idiot, but most of the ridiculous things that he did were, at least in his mind, well reasoned and sure to work (one of my favorite additions to Homer's character over the years was when they had him start wearing the reading glasses, usually when he was researching some crazy scheme). You could sympathize with him at the same time as laughing at him - he sincerely thought capers like concocting your own liquor in the basement was a good idea. Plus, he has had some of the all time greatest quotable lines:

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No. Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal. Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday. Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

And there is of course this...

2.) GOB Bluth

The magic. The Segway. The racially charged puppet act. What isn't there to love about GOB on Arrested Development? I think that I love about GOB the most though is the fact that he doesn't see any of his bad habits in himself - like the unreliability and the sneakiness - but he instead sees them in his brother Michael and GOB is constantly out to get him - Michael: "Well, you've already got her hating me, or at least your version of me. Which is you." It is really GOB, and not Buster, who is the most pathetic member of a truly pathetic family - no one in the family really cares for him other than Michael (and even that is debatable some times) and all he really wants is to be loved and included in the family responsibilities (unless those responsibilities get too hard, then all he really wants is the title, the office, and the paycheck).

Quotes:

Gob: [to Michael] Tell you what. You may not be good with women, but you are great with other people's women. I'll give you that.

Michael: Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman.
Gob: Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.
Narrator: But he really didn't.
Gob: Yes, I did.

Gob: I've got the marriage and none of the good parts. It's like so far it's been all chain and no ball.

Sitwell: The only thing I ask is, out of the 450 homes we build, one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.
Gob: That’s great. So the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we’re saying?

Gob: The cow is coming after me.
Michael: Your wife? She was super-thin.
Gob: She was? What about her cans? She have big cans?
Michael: You don't remember her at all, do you?
Gob: Hey, it was one night of wild passion!
Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body?
Gob: I like to look in the mirror.

3.) Dwight K. Schrute

In what seems to be a running theme with my favorite characters, most of the laughs regarding Dwight on The Office stem from the juxtaposition between what Dwight thinks is reality and actual reality (or at least what passes for reality in the world of The Office). Dwight is constantly confronted with the behavior of others that are incompatible to the mostly emotionless, do it yourself, law of the jungle, Quaker/amish/nazi upbringing, bizzarro world that Dwight inhabits (in his own mind). Conversely, his co-workers (and especially Michael Scott) are confronted with Dwight's solutions to the problems that pop up every week that, while they seem perfectly rational to Dwight, usually cause either disgust or utter astonishment. Those are some of my favorite Office moments.

Quotes:

Dwight: OK, first let's go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?
Michael: Uh, none. You're picking a healthcare plan.

Dwight: The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.

Dwight: When I die, I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.

Dwight: [bringing in a dead goose] I accidentally ran over it. It's a Christmas miracle!
Toby: C'mon, Dwight, we talked about this: no dead animals in the office.

4.) Dr. Perry Cox

On Scrubs, Dr. Cox thinks he is the brightest, most talented and most hilarious doctor in the entire hospital. He thinks everyone is beneath him and he lets it be known. The best moments of Scrubs usually fall into one of two categories: 1.) Dr. Cox flaunts his superiority over someone by either a long winded berating or a carefully orchestrated trick that makes his victim think that they were actually right; or 2.) Dr. Cox either intentionally or accidentally lets another character see a crack in his armor - he really does care about the people he works with and the patients he treats. His problem is that he cares too much and he refuses to let it show most of the time. Scrubs has always been a great mix of silly comedy and depressing character moments (that make the comedic parts stand out that much more) and Dr. Cox is the best representation of that formula.

Quotes:

Dr. Cox: Hey, newbie. You know what your problem is?
J.D.: My bones hurt?
Dr. Cox: You were gonna, what, rescue me from loneliness with a three-dollar six-pack of light beer? It turns out, you can't save people from themselves, newbie. We just treat 'em. You treat that kid with a respiratory problem, and when he comes back with cancer, go ahead and treat that, too.
J.D.: [sarcastic] Well, thanks for the pick-me-up!
Dr. Cox: Hey! Smokers, drinkers, druggies, fatties, whatever. All I'm saying is that if you keep living and dying on whether or not a person changes, well... you're not gonna make it as a doctor, that's all. Now... come here and gimme a hug. [J.D. hesitates to move.] It's okay. Come here, come here. [J.D. approaches him.] Aw, get outta here! And take this piss-water with you. [He shoves the six-pack into J.D.'s hands.] It's embarrassing to have it here.
Cox's Buddy: I'll drink it!
Dr. Cox: Eh! [taking the beer back] I'll take the beer. You beat it.

J.D.: Your ex-wife. She's the answer.
Dr. Cox: Uhhh... Things that ruined my life. Things that took half my money. Things with sharp edges!

Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact, the wall on which you're leaning against. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I-I-I know, here it's a conundrum, but don't you worry about it. I'll tackle that one right upstairs [points to his head]. In the meantime, you could at least pretend to be doing some work. And right about now, even though you don't have your basket, oh it's just a terrific time for you to skip away, Shirley.

Dr. Cox: Fine. Let me just tell you how it ends. Dr. Phil says, "And how is that working out... for you?" And then the big fat lady cries, waah. Alright. I'm sure you're wondering why I accepted the position of Residency Director considering my disdain for, well... all of you. Is it the extra four dollars a week in my paycheck? Or is it the fact that I finally have a chance to make a difference in this god forsaken hellhole?
[Elliot looks pleased and impressed]
Dr. Cox: It's all about the four dollars, trust me.

5.) Bill McNeal

NewsRadio was one of my favorite shows in the '90s and I do not think it gets the proper recognition for how funny it was. This mostly due to its short run - it only lasted a few seasons because it went down hill after the sad death of Phil Hartman, who played Bill. Bill McNeil was a character that showcased all of the best and funniest character traits that Hartman excelled at during his time on Saturday Night Live - Bill could zip through smarminess, a false sense of superiority and an overblown sense of indignation, usually all within the same scene. His funniest bits, however usually involved the various tricks and put-downs he inflicted on the office geek, Matthew (who was played by lunatic Andy Dick, who used to be capable of fine comedy instead of just having the ability to make you want to claw out your eyes and rip off your ears whenever he appears on your screen). My favorite episode of NewsRadio involving Bill was "The Cane" (which you can find on Hulu) - Bill buys a cane in an effort to show off how much better he is than everyone and of course manages to annoy the hell out of people with it. The closing scene where Bill goes through a litany of canes to show that he will never give it up is a classic.

Quotes

Dave: Why? Because I'm the boss Bill, that's why! That's why Bill. And I will not be manipulated, I will not be contradicted, and I will not be intimidated!
Bill: Well, I didn't realize you were a man of such strong conviction. Of such deeply felt moral tenacity, of such remarkable centeredness...
Dave: Alright Bill, I'm not going to be sucked-up to either.
Bill: Well, you've eliminated all my options. All that's left is backstabbing.

[Matthew is worried he's going to get "The Shaft" - a bonus of zero dollars.]
Bill: Say Joe, who's the black private dick that's a sex machine for all the chicks?
Joe: Bill, I think that would be Shaft.
[Matthew notices and looks up]
Bill: And who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about?
Joe: Again Bill, we're talkin' 'bout Shaft.
Bill: Damn right.
Joe: You know, they say that cat Shaft is one bad mother-
Matthew: Shut up you guys!
Mr. James: [entering] Hey what's goin' on?
Bill: We're just talking about Shaft.
Mr. James: I can dig it.

Bill: Do you have a special lady in your life?
Dave: No.
Bill: I'm sorry, that was presumptuous of me. Do you have a special person in your life?

[Beth shows Bill a nude photo of herself, disguised with a paper bag so he won't recognize her]
Beth: Bill, what do you think of this photo?
Bill: Who is that?
Beth: Oh, it's a friend of mine doing a thesis at NYU, it's a fine arts program.
Bill: Uh-huh. Well it's an interesting commentary on the objectification of the female form and of course the masks women are forced to wear in our society. If I were the NEA I'd give her five or six grand.
Beth: Well Bill do you think it's sexy?
Bill: Well I don't really think that's germane to a discussion of the statement the artist is trying to make.
Beth: Thank you Bill.
[Bill walks over to Matthew]
Bill: Beth's showing nudie photos of herself with a paper bag over her head. Check it out.

[Bill sets up a cubicle around his desk]
Dave: Have you thought about how this will make you co-workers feel?
Bill: Actually, one of the great things about the cubicle is not having to think about my co-workers at all.