The John Hughes Soundtrack

When John Hughes passed away last week, I can't say I was saddened (I mean, come on, I didn't know him) but I was a little bummed. I really loved his movies when I was growing up (I think I watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off about 40 times with my friends Jeff and Chris). I am not going to write about the movies - there have been 1000 articles and blogs on that subject in the last week. Also, I haven't watched these movies in a while, so I am not sure if I will like them as much now - my tastes have changed as I've grown older. However, there is one big aspect of Hughes' movies that I know I still love and that was the music. A lot of these movies involved characters that were either outsiders or on the fringe of the popular groups, and the soundtracks were filled with songs by 80's bands that were not in the mainstream to reflect this. Back when I used to watch these movies, I wasn't really that in to New Wave or alternative music - at that age, I was just into what ever was popular at the time, but I knew that there was something about the songs I was hearing that I really liked - it wasn't until I was much older, and much more adventurous in music listening that I realized 80's New wave and alternative are my favorite musical genres. I wish that I would have dug a little deeper at the time into the songs I was hearing in a movie like Pretty in Pink. I deprived myself of many years of listening pleasure. Oh well...

I have a list below (and I am posting the actual songs when available) for what I feel are the best songs from John Hughes' movies (plus some added information about a few of the songs):

"True" - Spandau Ballet (Sixteen Candles)

True - Spandau Ballet

"Little Bitch" - The Specials (Sixteen Candles)
Technically, this isn't an "80's" song, since the album on which it was originally released came out in 1979, but I don't care. I am including it anyway because 1.) 1979 is close enough to the 80's, and 2.) I think The Specials are a cool band.

Little Bitch - The Specials

Don't You (Forget About Me) - Simple Minds (Breakfast Club)
Just because this song has been somewhat played out over the years doesn't mean that it isn't a great song (often times, just like the old saying, familiarity with a song breeds contempt).

Don't You (Forget About Me) - ...

"Weird Science" - Oingo Boingo (Weird Science)
I don't think anyone would have guessed when this song came out that Danny Elfman, the lead singer of this group (which was also responsible for "Dead Man's Party", which was in another 80's comedy that was a favorite of mine growing up - Back To School), would turn out to be the #1 driving force behind classical movie scores in Hollywood. He was just too weird to even think he could play anything but music that sounds like what Oingo Boino was putting out.

Weird Science - Oingo Boingo

"Tenderness" - General Public (Weird Science)
For some reason, I really love this song. However, I realize it may not be the manliest of songs, but once, I saw a UFC fighter (I cannot remember who for the life of me) use this as his entrance music.

Tenderness - General Public

"Eighties" - Killing Joke (Weird Science)

Eighties - Killing Joke

"Beat City" - The Flowerpot Men (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
I have never heard anything else by this group, but they have a special place in my heart. Back when I was in college, I had a friend that worked at the college radio station. For some reason, he thought it was a good idea to let his jack-ass friends hang out in the booth with him during his shifts and occasionally get on the air. He would bring in a few of his own selections to add to the station's discs and this song on 45 was one of them (yes, back when I was in college the station still had turntables). Since I really liked this song, I made him play it EVERY TIME he was on the air. Not surprisingly, he didn't last long at that job...

(Song not available)

"Desire (Come and Get It)" - Gene Loves Jezebel (She's Having a Baby)
"Haunted When The Minutes Drag" - Love and Rockets (She's Having a Baby)
I have only seen this movie once, and it was a long time ago, so I don't remember if it was any good, nor do I remember these songs from the movie. However, I like both bands and these are good songs, so they are being included.

Desire (Come And Get It) - Gen...

Haunted When The Minutes Drag ...

"If You Leave" - OMD (Pretty in Pink)

If You Leave - Orchestral Mano...

"Pretty In Pink" - Psychedelic Furs (Pretty In Pink)
The Psychedelic Furs have become one of my favorite 80's bands. they are coming to Columbus in October and I am really pumped to see them live.

Pretty In Pink (Original Versi...

"Shellshock" - New Order (Pretty In Pink)

Shellshock - New Order

"Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want" - The Smiths (Pretty In Pink)

Please, Please, Please Let Me ...

"The Hardest Walk" - Jesus and Mary Chain (Some Kind Of Wonderful)

The Hardest Walk [Single Versi...

That would make a pretty good 80's playlist on your iPod.

Just Like Getting Old...

Last night, as I was driving home, I was flipping through the radio stations and I came across "Just Like Heaven", which is one of my favorite Cure songs. Normally, that is no big deal, since both CD101 (the local alternative station) and 106.7 (the local pseudo-alternative station) both play The Cure once in a while. However, it wasn't either of those stations - it was 105.7 (The Brew!), which is a classic rock station that leans a little more towards 80's rock (the song played after The Cure was "Home Sweet Home" by Motley Crue). I was pretty shocked - I have never head The Cure played on a classic rock station. I didn't know that they were that popular in those circles. Now, I know that in terms of alternative music, they are extremely popular - maybe one of the most popular alternative bands of all time. But I didn't think they were "mainstream" popular, and I certainly didn't think that they were popular with people that listen to classic rock stations. And, they would have to be, right? I mean, those types of stations don't play just any old song. Some company somewhere had to have done some research and determined that "Just Like Heaven" would fit in on a station like The Brew. I know that people who liked The Cure back in the 80's are getting old now. However, are all of them now listening to classic rock stations? I mean, I know I was listening to a classic rock station, but that was because I didn't have my iPod with me - I think it is pretty apparent from this blog that I listen to some pretty modern music. So, my question is - have the type of people that used to listen to bands like The Cure back in the 80's become full-time classic rock listeners or are they like me, and still trying to find the music that is out there that is outside the mainsteam? I am guessing that I am probably in the minority in this case...

Just Like Heaven - The Cure

The Bands Making the Best Music Right Now

Most of the music that I listen to is of the "indie" variety and the bands don't usually last too long. They are on small record labels, they usually don't sell a lot of records and hipsters are so damn fickle that they are always looking for the next new thing and will drop their interest in bands that they just loved 6 months ago. For example, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah's first CD was one of my favorite discs of 2005. They released a not as good follow up disc in 2007, and then there were rumors that they were breaking up in 2009. Because of these and other factors, its really enjoyable when an indie band that you like happens to string a few good discs together and starts to show some longevity. Below is the list of the top 5 bands that I think are putting out the best music right now. The criteria I used for this list is that they have to have at least 2 really good CD's released in the last 4 years (1 excellent disc and 1 mediocre disc do not count) since every 2 years seems to be the cycle for releasing CD's these days. I picked that timeframe because I wanted bands that are putting out music on a fairly regular basis so you can enjoy their music more often. This is why Radiohead is not on the list - its obvious that they are still excellent, as In Rainbows proved. However, that CD took 4 years to come out after Hail To the Thief and who knows how long it will be until their next one comes out. Also, the band still has to be together - this list is about bands that are making great music and hopefully will continue to in the future.

5.) Animal Collective

Animal Collective (as I wrote about in my 2009 Top 10 entry) put forth some of the most eclectic music out there today. Some of their songs sound like they are being played on your back porch by a jug band at a hoedown. Others sound like you should be listening to them in a dark room with only a blacklight and some glow in the dark posters. Their output is pretty prolific, too - since 2005, they have released 3 albums (Feels, Strawberry Jam and Merriweather Post Pavilion) and 1 EP (Water Curses). I will admit that their sound is not for everyone, but they manage to consistently impress me with each new release.

Brother Sport - Animal Collect...

The Purple Bottle - Animal Col...

4.) The National

The National play pop/rock with a little bit of a darker edge. However, I think even if they tried to play a little lighter-sounding fare, their music would still sound dark due to the deep baritone voice of their lead singer Matt Berninger. His voice adds a little something extra to their sound that helps achieve the kinda "chamber pop" sound that their music leans towards - there's just something about a lot of their songs that sounds like you should be listening to them in the parlor, with some gaslights and a glass of scotch.

Fake Empire - The National

Abel - The National

3.) TV On the Radio
TVotR's sound is pretty hard to pin down. Their songs mix alternative rock, jazz, and soul in a way that very few bands could pull off. Their last 2 discs - 2006's Return To Cookie Mountain and 2008's Dear Science - were both critically praised by both the indie music press and more mainstream publications, like Rolling Stone. In fact, Rolling Stone (along with Entertainment Weekly, Spin, MTV and a few others) named Dear Science as the Best Album of the Year (thank you Wikipedia). This band knows how to groove and they know how to rock. And they can blow you away with either. "Wolf Like Me" from Cookie Mountain my be my favorite song released this decade.

Wolf Like Me - TV On The Radio

Halfway Home - TV On The Radio

2.) Spoon
Spoon plays rock music, but they mix up their sound with a little more pop sensibility than the other bands on this list. They have shown that they know how to groove too, as evidenced by "I Turn My Camera On" from 2005's Gimme Fiction and "Don't You Evah" from 2007's Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga. Their 2007 disc was one of the best released that year and has me really looking forward to their next disc. They released an EP this year that really only served to tease me. DAMN THEM!

I Turn My Camera On - Spoon

Don't You Evah - Spoon

1.) The Hold Steady
I know that I have previously written about this band, but they really are my favorite band currently. They have one of the most fun, high-energy live shows around (I have seen them live 3 times, including once in a bar in Las Vegas where the stage was outside next to the back alley). In the last 4 years, they have released 3 great discs (Seperation Sunday, Boys and Girls In America and A Positive Rage) as well as one live CD (which sounds great but doesn't hold a candle to the experience of seeing them in person). They are just a great, straightforward rock and roll band, making music that has some heart and doesn't sound like it came out of some cookie-cutter rock band template (there are far too few of those bands around these days).

Stuck Between Stations - The H...

Your Little Hoodrat Friend - T...

5 Discs That Should Be On Your Summer Playlist

Sure, summer is half over, but there are still 6 weeks or so until the beginning of September (although, honestly it's still summer to me until the weather changes; around here that could be until October). So, while summer lasts, here are 5 discs that you should be listening to this summer, whether it is a cookout or just hanging out on the deck or at the beach. I think all 5 of them are the kind of music you want to listen to in the summer - upbeat, sunny day kinda songs that just make you feel good...

1.) Discovery - LP

This is a band made up of one of the guys from Vampire Weekend (who I like) and Ra Ra Riot (a band I have only heard of, but never heard their music). It has a kind of new wave, synth pop sound to it, which of course is right up my alley, mixed with a little bit of R&B. Its an interesting combination (they even do a Jackson 5 cover). The songs are all short, 2-3 minutes like most good pop songs, so you can listen to the whole disc on a short drive - it is the perfect soundtrack for a sunny day of driving around town.

Favorite Songs:

"Orange Shirt", "Osaka Loop Line", "So Insane", "Swing Tree", "Carby", "It's Not My Fault (It's My Fault)".

2.) Dirty Projectors - Bitte Orca

Dirty Projectors are a band that I had heard of for a few years but never had a chance to check out their music until now (they had a lot more CD's than I thought). They are an experimental rock band, which is really just a catch-all term for a band whose music doesn't quite fit into any particular genre (or bands that just make weird music). This band is a little of both. On this disc, the songs lean a little more towards pop, and the results are very enjoyable. Since the band hasn't completely shed their "experimental" sound, it might not be for everyone (especially since singer Dave Longstreth has an unusual voice). However, if you are a fan of bands that don't try and sound like every other band out there, you should dig this.

Favorite Songs:

"Canibal Resource", "The Bride", "Stillness is the Move", "Useful Chamber", "No Intention", "Remade Horizon".

3.) Super Furry Animals - Dark Days/Light Years

I already talked about this disc in my "Top 10 CD's of 2009 (so far...)" post, so I am not really going to go on any further about it. Also, just because it is the only CD from that list to make it on to this one doesn't mean that I have changed my mind and now think it is better than the discs I ranked above it. It just means that this CD has some really catchy songs that I find myself listening to a lot this summer.

4.) We Were Promised Jetpacks - These Four Walls

This is the only real "rock" CD on this list (maybe music that is more pop-oriented just lends itself better to summertime...). These guys are from Scotland and this is their first disc, so I really don't know much about them (even their Wikipedia page is pretty sparse). They have a pretty straightforward indie rock sound for the most part, but there is something about the lead singer's Scottish accent that adds a little extra to their songs. There are songs on this disc that are both uptempo and low tempo, so it would be great for those later hour patio or deck gatherings. Plus, I think their name is cool...

Favorite Songs:

"It's Thunder and It's Lightning", "Ships With Holes Will Sink", "Roll Up Your Sleeves", 'Conductor", "This Is My House, This Is My Home", "Quiet Little Voices", "Moving Clocks Run Slow", "Short Bursts".

5.) Hercules and Love Affair - Hercules and Love Affair

This is the only disc on this list that didn't come out this year - it is from 2008. This is another one of those bands that I had heard of, but didn't get around to getting my hands on the disc this year. Their sound is sort of like a modern take on disco - a lot of horns and disco-like bass lines along with vocals that sound like they came right out of Studio 54. A couple of the songs have guest vocals by Antony Hegarty of "Antony and the Johnsons". If you have ever heard their music, you know that Hegaty has one of the most unusual and, I'll say it, down right WEIRD singing voices I have ever heard. However, on the songs which he appears on this disc, his voice melds perfectly with the type of music and is almost like another instrument.

Favorite Songs:

"Hercules' Theme", "Athene", "Easy", "Time Will", "You Belong".

The Top 10 CD's of 2009 (so far...)

Usually, I find myself playing catch up at the end of the year trying to get all the discs that have come out during that year ("Wait, they had a new CD this year? When did THAT come out?"). This year however, I have been pretty on top of getting the discs I want right as or after they come out (or *ahem* before they come out). I am still missing a few that I really wanted, but you can't get everything. So, I decided to post my list of my top 10 favorite discs of the first half of the year. I know 2009 isn't technically half over, but since not many new discs come out in December, I figured June was a good cut off point. Here they are, with a short blurb about each one and a few songs I really like from the disc:

10.) Iron & Wine - Around the Well
This is a compilation disc from the alternative folk band. While there were other compilation discs that came out this year that I decided to not include on the list, I left this one in because it contains mostly unreleased songs. Like most folk music, the songs on this disc are pretty straightforward musically - just a guitar, some drums and a story. Sam Beam (Iron & Wine is pretty much him and whatever band he puts together to go on tour with) manages to craft some very pretty songs that musically lend themselves to just sitting out on the porch, tapping your foot along and generally just enjoying a nice summer's day, as long as you don't listen to the lyrics - he manages to make some upbeat sounding songs about pretty sad subject matter. So, the songs can serve two purposes - put you in a good mood or allow you to wallow in a good depression. Your choice.
Favorite songs from the disc - "Dearest Forsaken", "Belated Promise Ring", "Love Vigilantes", "No Moon", "Carried Home", "Arms of a Thief".

9.) Passion Pit - Manners
Passion Pit are an electronic pop band that I just discovered this year, although they had an EP that came out last year. The lead singer has a high pitched voice that may turn some people off, but I think it fits right in with their style of music, almost like an additional instrument. Their songs are catchy pop songs, but they are just short of dance-y. So, if you are looking for a song to bob your head along to, check this one out.
Favorite songs from the disc - "Make Light", "Little Secrets", "The Reeling", "Eyes As Candles", "Folds In Your Hands", "The Seaweed Song".

8.) Neko Case - Middle Cyclone
As part of the New Pornographers, Neko Case sings on some of the catchiest pop songs you will ever hear. Her solo songs, however, are in a whole different vein. She sings a very soulful alternative country that sounds like it belongs in a backwoods country bar, with a haze of cigarette smoke in the air.
Favorite songs from the disc -"This Tornado Loves You", "People Got a Lotta Nerve", "Middle Cyclone", "I'm an Animal", "Don't Forget Me", "Red Tide".

7.) Grizzly Bear - Vekatimest
Its not very easy to describe Grizzly Bear's music (they play a psychedelic folk music - try and describe what THAT sounds like). The band has said that they set out to make a more accessible record, and they succeeded - this disc has a very dense sound (due in large part to the fact that everyone in the band contributes to vocals and allows them an added dimension most bands aren't able to manage), but they have managed to make it a rewarding listening experience without sacrificing their signature experimental sound.
Favorite songs from the disc -"Southern Point", "All We Ask", "Cheerleader", "Ready, Able", "About Face", "While You Wait For the Others".

6.) The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz
A great disc from the band following their disappointing sophomore record. This disc added a throwback 1980's synthpop sound to the band's signature garage rock, which really appealed to me since I am a big fan of that type of music. It was great to see that the band still has something left and wasn't just a flash in the pan.
Favorite songs from the disc - "Zero", "Heads Will Roll", "Soft Shock", "Dull Life", "Shame and Fortune", "Dragon Queen", "Hysteric".

5. ) Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion
Similar to Grizzly Bear, Animal Collective is another band that has a hard to define sound. They play a sort of psychedelic folk as well, but they don't quite sound the same as Grizzly Bear. True to the second part of their name, their music sounds like a bunch of people sitting around a campfire singing, although some sort of drugs would probably be involved on this camping trip - either with them for singing or with you for listening.
Favorite songs from the disc -"In the Flowers", "My Girls", "Summertime Clothes", "Bluish", "Taste".

4.) Super Furry Animals - Dark Days/Light Years
In what seems to be a continuing theme, Super Furry Animals is another band that has a hard to pin down sound (can you tell that I like bands that take chances and don't try to sound like everyone else?). However, unlike the other 2 bands in this "category", Super Furry Animals put forth the most rock-oriented and catchy songs, at least on this disc. This disc definitely has a more upbeat sound than the Grizzly Bear and Animal Collective discs - songs more suited for the middle part of the party than the end.
Favorite songs from the disc -"Mt", "Moped Eyes", "Inconvenience", "Helium Hearts", "White Socks/Flip Flops", "Where Do You Wanna Go?".

3.) Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
This disc was a very pleasant surprise. I had read some things on the internet hyping this band up way before their CD was released, which usually means that there will be a let down when you actually are able to hear them (it doesn't mean that the disc you are expecting isn't good - it's just that usually the internet hype machine inflates things to such a degree that there is no way the band can live up to the expectations). However, in this case, the CD was so much better than even I expected. Phoenix's upbeat dance rock will be a staple of my car rides all summer long...
Favorite songs from the disc -"Lisztomania", "Love Like a Sunset", "Lasso", "Countdown (Sick For the Big Sun)", "Girlfriend".

2.) Camera Obscura - My Maudlin Career
Camera Obscura has been around since 1996, but I didn't discover them until after a few years ago. I really enjoyed what I had heard from them before, but I think this newest disc is their best effort to date. "My Maudlin Career" often has the sound of a very literate 60's girl group music, as if the Supremes or Martha and the Vandellas went to college and decided to let what they had learned seep into their lyrics (pretty amazing when you realize that this is a white lady from England singing...).
Favorite songs from the disc -"French Navy", "You Told a Lie", "Away With Murder", "Swans", "James", "My Maudlin Career", "Honey in the Sun".

1.) Bat For Lashes - Two Suns
I was totally not expecting how good this CD turned out to be. I had only vaguely heard of this band previously (although its really just a woman named Natasha Khan and not really much of a band) and I got their 1st cd a few weeks prior to the release of Two Suns. I liked "Fur and Gold" a good deal, but there was nothing on it that blew me away. That was definitely not the case the first time I listened to "Two Suns" - it was one of those rare occurences where I immediately thought upon first listen, "Wow, this is a really fucking good CD." It is a great mix of rock and electronic pop, along with an ethereal quality, due mostly to Natasha's voice, that is at the same time upbeat and chill. A great disc.
Favorite songs from the disc -"Glass", "Sleep Alone", "Daniel", "Piece of Mind", "Pearl's Dream".

Top 5 Favorite Dramas

This is a companion post to the "Top 5 Comedies" post I did previously...





5.) Battlestar Gallactica

This is of course the remake, not the original (although I used to love that one when it was originally on). While this is a show that is set in space, it was so well written and acted; the setting was only one very small aspect of the overall story. It should have appealed to fans of good drama, rather than just sci-fi fans. Unfortunately, very few people watched it. I told the story of the last survivors of a race that was pushed to the brink of extinction by their own creations and their search for a new home. Over the course of this search (and 5 seasons), the show dealt with family conflict, loss of identity, political struggles, morality, and an increasing sense of futility in a way that really made you care about the characters the way a good episodic show needs to. While I didn't care for the way they wrapped up the series in the last episode, that doesn't diminish how much I loved the show up to that point.



4.) Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You are probably thinking, "Come on. How can a show about a bunch of kids fighting vampires be THAT good." That is the same thing that I thought before I started watching this show (I didn't watch this show when it was originally on, but only caught it in syndication and on DVD). HOWEVER... the dialog in BTVS has to rank up there with some of the best on a TV series ever. Writer/Mastermind Joss Whedon has the fantastic ability to combine pop culture, sarcasm, humor and tension in a way that really gives his characters life. Plus, he knows how to really write a kick ass story - every season blends one-off monster of the week episodes with the overall story arc episodes that ratchet up the tension until everything explodes at the end in a satisfying conclusion, before starting all over again the next season. In addition, each season builds on the overall series story arc - taking Buffy from an unsure high school girl fighting vampires with her friends and transforming her into the mature leader of an entire army of slayers. It is a very fun, action packed and sometimes sad ride getting from the beginning of that journey to the end.



3.) Lost

This is the only series on this list that is still ongoing, so depending on how the last season plays out, it may move up the list (I don't see it moving down; the first 4 seasons were so good that they would really have to piss me off in season 5 to give me a lesser opinion of this show). The way this show slowly parcels out answers to its various mysteries while at the same time serving up plot points that raise 5 or 6 more questions each is masterful. Never have I shouted "what the fuck!?!?!" (in a good way) so many times at the end of an episode as I have with this series. It is the most riveting story (books, movies and other tv shows included) that I have ever experienced.



2.) The Sopranos

Very rarely have such despicable characters been so lovable. Tony, Sil, Paulie and the rest are killers, cheaters, thieves, yet you sympathize and root for them. That's because these characters were so well defined. Tony wasn't just a mobster. He was a man who spent his whole life trying to please his awful mother, which was an impossible task. He suffered from anxiety and guilt because of his decisions. He would turn on family to protect what he had, when necessary. You wanted him to stay on top, no matter what horrible things he did (and there were a LOT of horrible things - poor Christopher).



1.) The Wire

Hands down the best show ever on TV. The other 4 shows on this list are great, but this one is at the top of the list for one reason - how rewarding a show it was to watch. To enjoy this show, you needed to invest a little time and attention. Each season, characters are introduced and the plot is rolled out slowly in the first few episodes and it requires a little effort on your part to get to know these characters. That's part of the reason that this show didn't do well in the ratings. Not many people want to invest that kind of time. However, having put a little effort into watching this show makes the payoff that much better when each season's story concludes. Another fantastic thing about The Wire is that it doesn't try to present any happy endings or tie things up neatly. Just like in real life, there are consequences to your actions and just because you scored a victory over drugs or corruption, the struggle keeps right on going.

People Watching At Its Finest

I just spent 4 days at The Memorial Tournament, the annual PGA event here in Columbus. I am a golf fan, so I enjoy watching the tournament itself. However, even if I wasn’t, I would still go every year because the people watching is fantastic. I have never been to an event that has that diverse of a crowd to observe and secretly judge. Since a lot of companies buy passes and give them to their employees, its not just country club types that are there. While the assemblage of people is pretty divers, the following groups really stand out:

1.) The Women There To Land a Rich Husband
I am sure that they are aiming for one of the pro golfers (I found out this weekend that Jim Furyk met his wife in Columbus), but would probably settle for one of the well-off company executives that are everywhere. You can spot these women from a mile away – they are all wearing dresses and are totally dolled up to try and attract attention to themselves. They also have on shoes that look like they would be uncomfortable walking from the house to the mailbox, let alone walking up and down the hills on a golf course (and there are some pretty steep ones at Muirfield). I am surprised there are not more broken ankles (although I did see some lady bite it on the side of a hill on Saturday – that was pretty humorous…).

2.) Guys Dressed In Their Golf Outfits
I am not talking about the guys that just wear their golf shirts or their golf spikes (the spike-wearers are idiots). I am referring to the guys that are in full gear – golf shoes, pants shirts, hats and sometimes vests. I don’t know if they are trying to fool people into thinking they are pro golfers that already finished their round and are just hanging out on the course (possibly in an attempt to fool the women in #1 above) or they are hoping that Davis Love III is going to go down with a knee injury on the 6th tee and his caddy is going to turn to the crowd and shout, “Isn’t there anyone out there who is properly dressed that can save this round????” Whatever the reason, they look like tools.

3.) Really Old White People
These are the people that have probably been coming to the tournament since it began in the early 70s, and they were still Old White People then (the “Really” part didn’t come until later). They bring their chairs with them and pick out a hole they like and camp out right up front, even if no golfers are scheduled to come through for a few hours. They sit there and chat and continue to creep closer to death. These people are not to be confused with the people that find a whole they like and then put their chair down to save their spot right up front and then LEAVE for a few hours. Those people make me want to throw their chairs into the sandtrap.

4.) The Douchebags Who Follow Tiger.
I know a lot of people follow Tiger Woods. That’s fine – he’s the most popular golfer there is and the sole reason why a lot of people have even the slightest interest in golf. I know this going in and I am fine with it – I either avoid the part of the course he is on, or, if I do want to see him, I find a spot where I can see a few groups ahead of him and wait for the crowds to come to me. My major problem is with the idiots that feel the need shout obnoxiously every time he touches the ball. If you have ever watched Tiger on TV, you know these people. They are the ones that shout “Get in the hole!” when he tees off on a 565 yard par 5 (my favorite example – once on TV I heard someone yell “Get you some!” after one of his drives – classic…). Well, its 50 times worse when you are seeing him in person. There is a lot more yelling and inane Tiger related chatter that the microphones don’t pick up (like the time on Saturday when, after hearing some cheering off in the distance, some yokel behind me remarked. “that must be for Tiger” as if the crowd would not appreciate any other mere mortal’s shot).

Also, make sure you always hit up the pro shop...